Faith

I don’t want to come off as a fake Christian, so I will express my curiosity in this.

I was eight years old when I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior. I am now twenty-one, and couldn’t tell you that I faithfully go to church or pray. I have questions, as anyone would. The bible is not something I enjoy to read. I do good things, and I make sure others are taken care of before my own needs. I smile in place of tears and I laugh as an escape from reality. I know there is something bigger than myself and you. I have a hard time accepting that there is one single God, whom I am supposed to worship. I sin – speed too fast past someone who may be driving five miles under the speed limit, give someone the bird, curse, and think horrible thoughts. We all sin. It’s human nature. However, at what point in your life does someone become a devoted born-again Christian? I have heard all the “life changing” stories of a miracle happening and there is no explanation but God, but is this really the moment we accept him and begin to worship every day? I think not.

If you were raised like me, in a split home, you know that everything is different. You have 2 people to look up to, who are supposed to raise you with good intentions. My mother was a member of a church, she was the youth director. My father the head deacon for many years. I was raised in a “southern Baptist church” where you cannot and will not where anything but your Sunday best. The KJV Holy Bible was on the back of every pew, and you had to sit up and listen to the pastor for an agonizing forty-five minutes. I never enjoyed going to church, it was boring. Running up and down the aisles, sliding under the pews and hiding from my mom; now this was fun. As you can see I managed to think, do and hear anything else but the preacher during “big church”. Let me say this I no longer go to a southern Baptist church.

If I manage to get up on a Sunday morning before 11:00am I prefer a church in Raleigh, NC. It is a Non-Denominational church, The Summit Church.  You can go dressed in your best chucks and no looks will be given. You don’t feel judged, which is my biggest pet peeve. You will meet more hypocrites in any church than you will in any other environment. Friday and Saturday are your typical “get s*%# faced party nights”, Sunday you get up and act like nothing ever happened. Monday your right back in the mind set of having six more days that keep you from admitting the truth.  I understand everyone makes mistakes and trust me I understand sin. Living with a boyfriend before marriage, sex, and tattoos. I get it all, however I also refuse to lower my standers and look around judging every person I come into contact with because on Sunday I may or may not show my face in church. Church does not make you a Christian. Let me say this again, no matter how devoted you are to a church, your bible, or being a good person this does not make you a Christian. What is in your heart, and the relationship you have with God inside are what counts. No one but the Lord can know what you feel and know is in your heart. In my heart, I have questions and I don’t know when or if they will ever be answered. However I know that I am a sin filled, dog loving, out-spoken, tithe when I can afford it Christian.

So will you judge me because I don’t attend church every Sunday or will you accept that people are different in every way; including Faith?

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